Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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