and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
