He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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