"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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