I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What a dumb baby whore.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
