This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
