After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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