So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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