Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize