I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
