We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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