We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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