Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize