Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
