Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm sobbing to NWA
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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