We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
