I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
