I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize