she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
