:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am midnight drunk by noon
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
