went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize