by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
