we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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