kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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