Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
