I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
smell my finger.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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