I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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