2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
