Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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