Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
