Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I love you. Go after that dick
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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