I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
