We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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