Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
