So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
