i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
