I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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