he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
