DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
