I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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