i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
