I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
