all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
