Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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