we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
