You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
