btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't think brook has ever known best
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
