if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
