just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
