It's like God shit irony all over that family
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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