'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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