She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
