i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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