my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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