doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
