the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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